You have tackled your closet, but have you started to incorporate minimalism into your lifestyle? Yes, we need to start saying No more in our lifestyles, not just in our home!
What we must say No in our lifestyle as well as our home!
As I come up on a weekend where I literally have no free time due to commitments with friends and family, I am reminded of an important simple word that we all need to use more often. No. Yes, no is a sentence all its own. This weekend is one of those freak times when I am super busy with things I am happy to be doing.
All 4 things bring me joy and I wouldn’t have said no to any of these events. I am happy to do all 4, even if it means a busy two days! When I look back on my life the last couple years, there are many of times when I have been super busy with things I simply could not say no to. Not because it was something I was dying to do, but because I felt obligated to say yes to everyone.
Over the years I would have weekends where I was driving all around here and there like a chicken with my head cut off. During this time, I had not started my minimalism journey and had not learned yet that I could say no to events that did not bring me joy. Of course, this does not always apply, sometimes you are going to have to spend time with your in-laws or your best friend’s boyfriend you don’t get along with. These are things that you do not because they bring you joy, but because you know it brings someone else very important to you joy. But you should limit that list of very important to those that truly mean the most to you.
When to say no!
There is a time when you simply must realize that you can say no to most of the things you get invited to without guilt. Just like you can get rid of that item someone gave you for the holidays 6 years ago that you never used. This minimalism journey we are on is about getting rid of the excess, so we can focus on the important.
Does going to a party of a friend of a friend or a co-worker you never talk to make your life better? Or does it make you so busy that you can’t do the things in life you truly enjoy. I am guessing that most people would rather spend time with their children, or on matters that mean a lot to you, then at a random party where you barely know anyone.
We get so caught up in all the events we have going on that a lot of time we lose focus on what is important. Family and friends are most important to me, they are after all part of my why. Overtime, I learned that I didn’t need to make every dinner or event thrown by them. Yes, I love them all, but sometimes I also need time for myself and my personal pursuits like my minimalism and health journeys. Sometimes, you simply have to say no.
That’s it, “No.” If you want to be a little nicer, “I am not going to be able to make it.” Or, “no, can’t make it this time.” You don’t have to follow that No up with anything. No excuse or justification for not going to something is needed. You have the right to organize your personal life the same way you are organizing your house and lifestyle.
Side Effects to Saying No.
There are some side effects to saying no to engagements. Sometimes you will stop getting invited to things if you say no enough. This can be a blessing and a curse. Change can be a blessing if you really have no desire to ever go to Ted in Accounting’s monthly bar hoping Saturday nights. But also might be a curse when an extended friend leaves you out of a fun event that you would have loved but they didn’t think to include you because you usually don’t go out with that crowd. It is a balancing act. One you will have to learn for yourself.
Just like going through all the items in your house, some things might need to be readdressed over time. Similar to how you decided you really don’t need those workout videos because you found an online program you love that has a ton of variety, but 3 months ago you couldn’t even think about parting with. You might find that you really don’t need to spend so much time with a certain friend, but that you totally want to commit to something else.
It’s not Easy, but it’s a very Important part of your Minimalism Journey.
It is not going to be easy, nothing on this minimalism journey really is, but as I am always saying, it is worth it. You might hurt a couple feelings along the way, but you must remember to focus on what is important and what means the most to you. Remember this minimalism journey is not about getting rid of everything for the sake of getting rid of things. It is focusing on things that you have a daily use for (family and friend obligations you do because it will bring someone close to you joy) and things that bring you joy (that exercise class, or a couple extra hours playing outside with your kids). Now it is time to get rid of the clutter of events that take your focus off of what is important and minimize your social calendar by simply saying, NO.
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