Did you grow up in a household that was constantly cluttered? Does having boxes in the corner or tables loaded with stuff just seem normal to you? Many people who now live cluttered lifestyles learned how to live this way from childhood. If you grew up in a household where it was considered a waste to throw anything out and no one could imagine getting rid of items, you might have inherited this lifestyle from your parents/grandparents/family members.
Like most habits that effect out daily life, the idea of Nurture v. Nature is also a part of minimalism. I feel like I am personally a nature person. I was lucky that in general I did not grow up in a cluttered household, thus it was not a learned habit,
but more of a nature thing that is more about who I am as opposed to habits I learned. Sure, we might have had more paperwork sitting around than needed and some extra cooking gadgets in the kitchen, but in no way did I grow up in a cluttered household. I am just more inclined personally to collect and save things and I also tend to be a little lazy when it comes to cleaning and organizing. I think that is why it took me so long to get started on this journey, but it is also why it is making such a profound change on my life, because it is not only changing my house and my habits, but also changing the way I think about things. It is truly a personal and lifestyle redesign.
There are many of you out there though who probably fall into the nurture category. This is a habit that was taught and not one that is an instinct of your own. Sure, nature has a little to do with it, but a lot of it is about how you were raised. Do you remember rooms that you couldn’t really go into, or you couldn’t have guests over because the spare bedroom was full of stuff that no one ever used? If so, some of the habits you have now were probably habits that were instilled into you as a child and thus might make it harder to overcome. If all you have ever known was a house full of stuff and cluttered to the gills, it is hard to think that your house should be different.
We all learn a great deal from the household we grew up in. Be it the tendencies of our family we copy, or maybe a negative event brought on by the tendencies of your family made a huge impact on you and you decide never to live that way personally, but none of us can say we are not affected by the homes we grow up in. If you grew up in a cluttered household and adopted this tendency the first hurdle might be accepting that it is not normal, and that life does not need to be lived that way. That it isn’t necessary to save everything you ever bought, even if it would break your mom’s heart to learn you threw out that shirt you bought together 6 years ago, or that pot that was given to you as wedding gift by the uncle you never even met.
You have to accept that their tendencies do not need to be yours. That you can change. It might be harder, because you might get push back not just from the people living in your house (spouse, kids, etc.), but also from your parents or grandparents or family members. While people who are just overcoming their own personal habits, usually only get pushback from themselves and once the decision has been made that their whys are more important than the stuff, can usually continue their journey with the support of their extended family.
Your extended family might not like watching you make these huge changes for multiple reasons. It might make them feel uncomfortable about the fact that they are unable to make these changes. They might be uncomfortable because they can’t imagine why you would want to make these changes, they are perfectly happy in their cluttered lives and can’t imagine living any other way. They might think it is rude and wrong to not keep every single thing that was every given to you, no matter if you have ever used it or not. They might simply not grasp the concept that less can be more. Whereas I have had nothing but support, since I am really the only cluttered household in the family, you might get a lot of friction from family members. This can make the whole process so much harder, but you have to remember that they might not be able to accept that you are making a personal and lifestyle change but keep your whys close by and stay strong. You are doing this for yourself and your own personal self-growth.
You know why you are on this journey and how important it is to you. Share those goals and whys with the resisters and they might get on board, or at least be less vocal about it. But in the end, remember this is your (or your immediate families’) journey and you don’t need them to approve of it or think it is right. Let them know their support would help you along your journey and make sure to surround yourself with people who do support you. Be it a supportive Facebook group, or family and friends who understand your desires, or even just reading books that will support you along your way. But in the end, this is your journey and not theirs. They might not be ready to change, or even accept your change at this time, but don’t let that stop your journey.
Start changing those habits you were taught and replace them with the news ones you have learned along your minimalism journey. Don’t let these habits you learned as a child hold you back form the lifestyle you crave! You know why you started this journey and those whys are important enough to keep you going. Trust in those dreams and get to uncluttering!
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